Bonn Voyage : Living the Moment

Reminiscing that horrid day still gives me jitters, when one of my closest friend called me and told me he is diagnosed with a schwannoma in his trigeminal nerve. Since the tumor was so big that doctors have to perform an open brain surgery. This is the biggest surgery one can get nowadays. Terrified to my bones, and apart from my procrastination and apathy, I went to see him. Just before a night from the operation, we all were sitting in the waiting area, making fun, playing “who can throw the paper ball in the bin”, and stuff. There wasn't any glint of apprehension in his eyes. He took it so well, in fact anyone would easily be deceived with his attitude that he is having an appendix removal or hernia operation instead of an open brain surgery. With all his wits, he showed me a piece of paper, where the repercussions of the surgery were mentioned. Among death , paralysis , loss of vision etc , the most troublesome was “personality disorder”. I guess that troubled him the most because everything else was evident and self explanatory, only “personality disorder” was a vague term.

But, I know exactly what was going through his mind then. The surgery didn't affect him physically that much as it did mentally. I haven’t seen such a lively person, always enjoying the life to its fullest. But surgery has shattered his confidence, his liveliness. Life consists of many finite little moments, in struggle of making our future lustrous , we forget to live these precious moments. In the end we end up with regrets for past and unfulfilled expectations for future. But some people live in the moment, my friend belongs to that group, he has this wonderful , “happy go lucky,fuck the world” attitude which I always envied. I wish soon he starts to live the moments again.