Unboxing the relations,,,

 Duality is one aspect we can not just shun away easily. It is almost every where. Arabic has even incorporated the fact in their dual noun. Usually we taste the duality just when we are conscious of ourselves. We know that the apparent composed appearance is so vibrated and agitated inside. 

Relationships have the same duality aspect. One is the nomenclature of the relationship like mother, daughter, son, father, friend, partner etc. Other is the actual human being to whom one applies the relationship. I like to give an example of a box (the relation) and then you can put a person in that box. The box has certain expectations and the person in the box is always trying to fulfil those expectations. The genealogy of expectations is a debate in itself so won't expound in this post.

There is a further distinction in the relations, one are where we are thrown into. These are inside out relations as we are more aware of the box and less of a man. Hence you will hear people claiming that their parents are the best, or worst as matter of fact. Sadly most of the time we never connect to the person inside. These relationships come with perpetual security, you can't untie the knot ever. The other relations are outside in, these are the one where you connect with the person first. These relations do not have perpetuity. The former ones are the one who you are and latter ones are the one who you become. 

Ones Lost,,,

Well most of the relations we have that are not imposed on us, are created out of emotions and feelings rather than rationale. Now I won't start the debate about the nature of the emotions, whether they are innate or acquired but I do state that we are conditioned to comprehend emotions in binary or extremes. This can be due to the incapacity of the language to associate more words with the feelings, or it is due to the fact that we can not express everything we feel. Sometimes feelings are lost in the translation. The whole idea of discussing this is to highlight the phenomenological aspect of emotions. A person can potentially be everything that is possible. We have to wear veils,guises and layers to hide all the unacceptable possibilities so that we can be accepted in a group,friends or a society.This is due to the reason I feel,that our existence is reflected not in our mind but in the consciousness of others. Then for them we become phenomena, they can only know us from what they already know and not actually what we are. That's why in the world which is growing out of proportion, where almost everyone knows everyone, this makes a person "acceptance hungry". So every new relation we make somehow starts with a bit of killing of ones true self.