Beyond time,,,

There was a time when all the experiences were pure and direct, without passing through the cognition. It was the time when I saw without eyes, listened without ears and spoke without language. I remember vaguely, wandering around in serenity, It came to me, all laden with black cloak, with grimly grin, offered me some fruit, a piece of cloak and then It walked with me for a while. When I acquiescently accepted Its gift, I was stabbed with scythe and the next thing I knew I was thrown into this world, entrapped within a body. Now all I experience is slave to my mind, truth is poisoned with relevance and perception. I realize the fruit It gave me was for perpetual hunger, the yearning for more, the cloak was not to fashion the clothing, but was to veil my perversion, to hide the beast I have inside me , but worst of all the stabbing of scythe in my heart, was for the lingering of other's acceptance,,,

Plan B ,,,

Well the gist of life is its spontaneity, its utter uncertainty. We plan and plan, but mostly our plans are returned in vain when ricocheted with reality. So it is must to have a plan B in life. My life is the biggest example of 'Plan B', it is running more or less in Plan B at least since I left the school. There are some things you can't plan, they strike you as lightening, some are shattered by it, some become more confident, more strong. In reality, instead of accepting our frailty and flow with the tide.We are afraid of the future, in our present where in the end, when this future will be our present, our present and past will be just glint in our eyes, they will be either regrets or rejoice, so I guess only way to live is to make our present better and joyful.   

You are beautiful,,,

Well been rational beings, we all ought to analyze things according to our innate and gained knowledge. But sometimes, over analyzing things kill the joy and beauty they possess. I believe somethings are just beautiful at the surface, like a rainbow projected on the clouds, the ripple on the water, the tide that is ebbing, sun's reflection on the smooth flowing Rhine. These things are beautiful on their surfaces. I believe everything with some exceptions, holds a general beauty. "The beauty lies in the eyes of beholder", subjectifies the beauty thus disparaging the generic beauty we all share. I guess at sometimes, some places we all were, are and will be beautiful. 

Every moment you live, you die.

Life came to me as nothing but an incarceration, imprisonment is imprisonment though its for one’s own benefit. In incarceration it doesn't matter what they have taken away from one but what have been given. It’s all about maintaining the comfort zone, I can remember the first time when someone took me away from my comfort zone. It was my mom’s gynecologist who thought he is better out than in, I contradict that. Free food, free place to stay, no bills to be paid, no promises to be made. I was happy, but then the doctor took me out and I cried all over her face, but she threw me in this world. After so many springs, my comfort zone was destroyed once again, oh those 13 horrendous days, when I was imprisoned. They said its for the good of society and me. In prison, one have nothing but time, and in my contemplation, I had an awakening, all those 28 years ago, I wasn't crying for being disturbed but I knew then that I have breathe first, I have to die last. The only unchangeable, inevitable truth. Pity every child knows that, that’s why they cry their lungs out, but the illusion of life, dusts the truth. Sometimes I can hear the cheeky grin of the reaper, laughing out on me. He is saying, every moment you live, you die.

Sky of Lahore,,,

Well what goes around comes around, there is no backing off from one’s doing. Nature has a way of giving us the precursors for future, and I realized it when I beamed my vision over the skies of once my beautiful homeland. A beautiful clear sky with a wide stretched golden haze, flossing clouds, and a lot of birds swirling around, their serenading chirps echoing the bliss in one's ears, but this time my sight was in vain to capture and reminiscent those beauty days of my yore. I didn’t know when this transition happened, its funny how one gets really imbued in enslaved schedule and misses the subtle priceless things. But what I saw this time was a sky filled with smoke and scavengers floating all over it. I haven’t seen such a number of death eaters before, they really jolted me to my soul. But again what we are doing on the ground is reflected on the skies. On the ground we are feasting on the carcass of a dead nation, in the skies kites and crows are savoring the helpless birds. The whole ecological system has changed, now I wasn’t able to find nightingales,doves,swifts and other precious birds that used to add beauty to Lahore. Even the number of wild pigeons have reduced alarmingly, once in abundance, now only can be seen near PU’s old campus or at Darbar. I wish one day the hopes and birds will be back again, but it seems most unlikely.

Living in fantasies,,,

We are living in the times where truth is swaddled in the cloak of lies and conspiracies,making it too complex to comprehend. So sometimes, I find my sanctuary in figments of my wishful mind, I have to inject a dose of fantasies to maintain my sanity. I know there is no 'Vena Amoris' in my left hand's finger, but still I love to believe it. I know there ain't no Zeus and he didn't make us in pairs and then performed the segregation, but I like to quote 'Zeus's Split' quite often. I know embarked lines on my palms have nothing to do with my fate, but sometimes reading them give me satisfaction. I guess in the world where truth is grotesquely webbed for presenting the  false narratives, it's better to believe in fantasies.